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Joke of the Day

"Wow, some people are so prepared! Christmas is 364 days away, and some people already have their lights up!"

"""Mmmm Brians"" - a dyslexic or gay zombie"

"What does the horny toad say? Rubbit"

"I told my friends I had a date with a really attractive girl... they told me she was imaginary, but the jokes on them, because they are too."

"If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink."

"The Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and be awarded eternal life"" John came fifth and was awarded a toaster"

"My husband had to sign a form stating he understands his mother's cremation is nonreversible. I weep for our species."

"Vampire 1: ""I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died."" Vampire 2: ""How awful!"" Vampire 1: ""Yes. Fortunately I found some in the neck of time."""

"A new rehab center for pill addicts is open Its called Oxy Clean"

"One fun way to describe Facebook is ""imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart."""