198591

Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""Hey, you know you have a steering wheel between you legs right?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrrr, Matey! It drives me nuts!"""

"I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck. My wife still came home. Superstitions are stupid."

"What did the octopus make for desert? ...Octopie"

"What starts out happy but ends in tears? Marriage"

"Why? How I answer every text when my friends with little kids ask me what I'm doing tonight Related - I never babysit"

"When choosing a heart medicine, always pick the one that causes, ""significantly less bleeding."" Less bleeding is good for not being dead."

"What do you call a Scottish lady that wears nothing but a tie? Hentai."

"Is high blood pressure contagious? Because I think I'm getting it from my patients."

"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if architects in those days had just made their towns big enough for everyone."

"Q: How do you make a Venetian blind? A: Stick a finger in his eye."