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Joke of the Day
"If we attacked Turkey from the rear... ...do you think Greece would help?"
Next Joke
"You threw. Our tea. In the harbour. And then you changed the spelling of harbour. We do not. Forget."
"What is Saddam Hussein's favorite band? My Chemical Romance"
"That question from your wife for which either answer is wrong Apparently the third answer ""it's not the dress"" isn't right either."
"At The Nikon Headquarters We need random people in a room to test and sample our new lenses ""A focus group?"" DAMMIT JOHNSON THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES"
"Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means."
"-What should we name this creature w/ big feet? ""Bigfoot"" -And this w/ saber teeth? ""Sabertooth"" -And this beaverduck? ""Platypus"" -wtf dude"
"When people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... ""I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"""
"*holds up 2 ties* which one, I have a big meeting today ""both are nice"" [wife calls later] ""how'd it go"" well, wearing 2 ties was a disaster"
"So U.S. Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia died today while on a hunting trip... ...he must have gone with Dick Cheney."