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Joke of the Day

"During lunch I asked my food server which salad she preferred. She said, ""Either one! They're both amazeballs!"" I got a hamburger."

"Why do hunters make good lovers? 1. They always go deep in the bush. 2. They shoot often. 3. They always eat what they shoot."

"""This is where the magic happens."" - Harry Potter walking into his bedroom and every other room on MTV Cribs."

"I got my friend a house warming present I got him a bag of logs for his wood burner"

"Meanwhile, in mid-2015 A Google Glass wearer and an Apple Watch wearer are arguing in a bar over who looks like a huger idiot."

"Was glancing through the Obituaries this morning and found it really creepy that all these people managed to die in alphabetical order."

"My girlfriend likes it from behind while she's smoking a blunt. Snoop Doggy style."

"I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus"

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuckup cunts"

"""Y'know, I've realize something. In almost every Western cartoon there is talking animals in it."" ""Hmm, I can't really think of any."" The pig replied."