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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a negative antelope? A Cantelope."

"50 cent declares bankrupcy... he hasnt got a dollar to his name"

"Anyone want to know my secret to quit procrastination? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"How do you cancel your appointment at the spermicides bank? You call and say you can't cum. Edit:typo"

"Angel: ""I think we can all agree that 6 is enough."" God (clearly upset about something else): ""NO. GIVE SPIDERS 8 LEGS."""

"How much jizz does a gay dude have? A buttload"

"How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures."

"Mom: why are your eyes dilated Me: your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love Mom: what were you looking at Me: memes"

"Everyone should have that ""tester"" first twitter account to screw up and learn from... You know, kinda like that first child you have."

"Why did Hitler have a vitamin C deficiency? He hated juice."