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Joke of the Day

"What are the similarities between the sun and a bikini 1. They are both hot 2. They both look better when going down and 3. They both go down at night"

"I just googled: how to deal with low frustration tolerance. In the first article, in the first paragraph, I yell at the screen, ""WELL THIS IS JUST FUCKING STUPID!"" True story."

"Who the patron saint of surveillance? St Francis of a CCTV."

"What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream? A large twist cone."

"Chuck Norris can complete Halo 3 on Legendary. ...using a guitar hero controller."

"The girl working at Best Buy saw me checking her out. She walked up and asked me ""Do you need help?"" I replied ""No, I am just looking."""

"The queen honey bee has sex with up to 40 males a day. Just like your mom."

"My dad smeared glue all over his Uzi, and he say's his Glock is next. He can't be talked out of it. He's sticking to his guns."

"Han: Leave us alone, you fat slug! Jabba: *speaks Huttese* C-3PO: The mighty Jabbs says your words are hurtful. He has a thyroid problem."

"I can hear everything you're mumbling under the duct tape. Yes, I will marry you."