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Joke of the Day

"If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you'll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway."

"What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump Pink Floyd actually finished The Wall."

"I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk?...my apocolypse plans depend on it....thanks!"

"Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher!"

"my dad is like boost mobile. where you at dog? ;("

"How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer? With dog diskettes!"

"It was reported that listening to the band Queen links to giving you autism... It's because of the high Mercury content."

"Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night. Coworker: Wasn't the building alarmed? Me: Buildings don't get scared. CW....."

"When did you stop beating your wife? When we stopped having masturbation races."

"I'm not only a workaholic, I drink at home too."