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Joke of the Day

"What does it mean when a blind girl says you have a big penis? She's probably just pulling your leg!"

"Sex Ed class Teacher : any questions? Johnny : which sex position makes the ugliest kids? Teacher : ask your parents. *class fuckin loses it*"

"Hot lady mouse looking for good time. Any mouse will do boy mouse or girl mouse. Groups preferred. Meet in woods AT NIGHT. Will be a hoot."

"A man started telling people he was a piece of fruit. Everyone was convinced he was bananas"

"If I have 10 cookies and someone takes one away - how many cookies do I have? 10 cookies and some bloody knuckles"

"Why do blonds have schools underwater. Because deep down, they're not so stupid."

"whats the difference between your sister and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it"

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?"

"What is the opposite of Imagination? I have no idea."

"Today I learned two things: 1. Build-A-Bear Workshop only lets you stuff fake animals 2. Mall security guards get to use real handcuffs"