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Joke of the Day

"dude *scoffs like 7 times in a row* of course i'm not a virgin... i have lots of *starts readin hand, ink is hella smudged* secular intercom"

"What does my Uncle and my account balance have in common? I cry whenever I see them."

"I hate when someone steals my idea before I've had it."

"Finding out how big of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan I truly am was understandably pretty tough for my daughters, Raphael & Leonardo."

"What does American beer have in common with making love in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water."

"Like if you remember only having 3 TV channels to choose from and YOU were the remote!"

"My buddy asked me what it's like now that I'm circumcized I told him not much has changed, I just get a little less head."

"Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed space."

"What did the chemist say when his girlfriend cheated on him? Dy Ho"

"If a man masseur refuses to give a massage to a woman Is he a misogynist?"