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Joke of the Day

"My father was a nun. Whenever he was up in court and the judge asked ""occupation"", he'd say ""none"". (From Blackadder Goes Forth, is this still eligible for /r/jokes?)"

"A girl called me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home!"" I went over. Nobody was home."

"Is it fair to say Marvin Lewis' joke bout Johnny Manziel... went over everybody's head?"

"4 people were about to have sex I think they were in foursome fun"

"Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise... Turns out it was just a Pitbull song on the radio."

"When I told my friend how my dad drowned in the longest river on earth, he didn't belive me. He was in denial."

"Someone gave Chuck Norris the finger. He still has it."

"My sex life is exactly like my shopping. I do it all online."

"A farmer was counting his cows.... A farmer was counting his cows and initially only counted 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says, ""hey, I'm really worried about this mad cow disease going around"". The second cow says, ""I don't care, I'm a submarine!""."