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Joke of the Day

"*dad bursts into my room and puts me in a headlock* ""Why didn't you 'Like' the Grumpy Cat meme I posted on Facebook, you son of a bitch?"""

"I actually have to see a specialist for daily sex. I mean dyslexia."

"I don't see the point of class reunions anymore now that Facebook exists."

"I'd be able to find affordable glasses... In an eye deal world."

"How is medusa like weed? She makes people stoned."

"Daddy, what's for dinner? ""did you have cereal for breakfast?"" No ""then cereal"""

"So Jack helps you off the horse. Will you help Jack off the horse?"

"No one cares if you go to the bathroom. In fact, you are the only one who gives a shit."

"Life's like a box of chocolates. If you're fat, it doesn't last long."

"Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!"