183506

Joke of the Day

"I taught my maths class how to use a protractor, with varying degrees of success."

"Apparently Facebook has been flying drones around in third world countries They are trying to kill everyone who isn't on facebook"

"What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV? Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain."

"She has a weimerhi...wimerrihym....wimmerhie... She has a big gray dog."

"I think Chris Brown should be a storm trooper in the next Star Wars. Maybe he can actually hit somebody."

"Great, so a week ago my doctor gave me a letter, which confirmed that I have dyslexia... and now I've received one that says I have tiny tits. Oh no wait, tinnitus."

"Turned on women's volleyball and within four minutes there was a wrist injury Don't worry I'll be fine"

"In which month is the NYC fashion week? Fabruary, of course."

"Ugh. Sausage puns. They're the wurst."

"If I were a shepherd, I would never take inventory of my flock for fear of falling asleep on the job."