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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you got picked on in high school? Cop: *sniffles* Shut up."

"I'll never forget my wife's last words ""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"""

"You know you're a Star Trek fan when you... hate Voyager and you've only seen every episode one time."

"I'm just gonna go ahead and change my boys names to ""Stop making that stupid noise"" and ""Where are your shoes?""."

"Q: What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship? A: Let's get on the ship, men!"

"What do truck drivers and porn stars have in common? They both get paid by the load."

"Just left a note on the ex's car saying ""I STILL LOVE YOU"" hope it doesn't go unnoticed. I keyed it in pretty deep."

"2 year old runs naked down the street. ""Awwwwwwwwwwwwww."" I run naked down the street. ""AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"""

"What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NA!"

"Helpful advice for travellers: If you are going to get on a commercial flight take a bomb with you. BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the SAME TIME with a bomb?"