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Joke of the Day

"Just left a note on the ex's car saying ""I STILL LOVE YOU"" hope it doesn't go unnoticed. I keyed it in pretty deep."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then !"

"What feels good in the west but feels cotton in the East? Happi-ness"

"My worst fear is seeing one of my tweets marked as ""exhibit A"""

"I update my Facebook picture to a jail mugshot over the holidays so my family will go visit someone else."

"""I enjoy working with a hammer, but I don't want a blue collar job."" - Everyone who eventually becomes a judge."

"What do you call a psychic midget that escaped from prison? A small medium at large!"

"caught my son running a google search for "" shit stain pussy "". i am beyond distraught. we are strictly a Bing family"

"How are asians and really obese people alike? They both can't see their dicks, but they know it's there."

"Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets? For identification."