183242

Joke of the Day

"News: Video of black Baltimore mother beating her rioting son goes viral. She beat him so hard the police gave her a job application."

"CNN admits to dating Fox News."

"This 'Planking' craze has really taken off... The old man who lives next door to me has been lying face-down in his back yard for three days now."

"4 out of 5 dentists recommend Trident sugarless gum. The 5th dentist is busy butchering protected wildlife."

"*job interview* ""So this yearbook isn't your resume?"" ""No. I'm not a moron. Those are my references. I highlighted all the NEVER CHANGE's."""

"Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? There were so many Knights"

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly want to be late for work today either but it's not like hot wings can shave themselves out of chest hair."

"Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says when don't serve nobles here. He didn't react."

"During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere... I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!"

"[movie night] Her: Can I pick tonight? Me: You picked last time and it was horrible Her: WE WATCHED OUR WEDDING VIDEO"