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Joke of the Day

"Going to start a band called The Subtweets. All songs will contain cryptic lyrics that incite paranoia in the crowd."

"Want to make sure you don't walk in on anyone masturbating when you get home? Try opening a bag of chips quietly when you get to your street"

"Last week I got a vibrator stuck inside of me so I went to the doctors... ...this morning when the batteries went flat"

"Why can't bikes stand up without leaning on something? They're two-tired."

"Doctor Doctor I'm having trouble with my breathing. I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!"

"What are your favorite jokes for the Holidays? For those of us that struggle with our family perhaps this will help break the ice."

"What do you call a French cow that grows sprouts instead of fur? Chia LaBeouf"

"New warning label: Quitting cigarettes significantly increases the amount of money you will have for pot."

"Little known fact: Henry Ford called it an automobile because ""Horse with no Name"" sounded stupid."

"I used to have a steering wheel in my pants But it was driving me nuts"