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Joke of the Day

"Want to make sure you don't walk in on anyone masturbating when you get home? Try opening a bag of chips quietly when you get to your street"

"Why would Donald Trump make a great addition to The Walking Dead? All he wants to do is build a wall."

"Why are you late? Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"The U.S. will soon have the first first lady that was not born in the U.S. Vladimir Putin"

"A jumper cable walks into a bar The bartender says, ""Sure, you can stay, but don't start anything!"""

"I'm a puzzle wrapped in an enigma hidden inside a set of Russian Nesting Dolls, so deep, so profound that - what? Yes, I'll have fries."

"Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere."

"What do you call a know-it-all that likes doing bad stuff to kids? Encyclopedophile"

"What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit ? Osaka."

"You know how people say they'll pray for you? I bet they don't. Assholes."