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Joke of the Day
"'I Now Pronounce You Man and WiFi'"
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"Based on how poorly this burrito was wrapped, I assume it was made by the one person at Taco Bell that has never rolled a blunt."
"How much does the Holocaust?"
"Me [sneezes]: excuse me Guy at the bus stop: [starts crying] my ex used me too, man."
"There's a new type of broom out, it's sweeping the nation."
"What's the difference between a fence and Ellen Pao One knows how to link properly."
"Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog"
"History channel."
"How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!"
"I have a bunch of sheep puns....... But they're, pretty Baa^aaaaa^aaaaa^aad."