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Joke of the Day

"FRIEND: What 3 books would you have on a desert island? ME: My first book is more books. F: What? These aren't wish M: Second book's a TV."

"I discovered this new drug that makes you indifferent to the world... It's called Crystal Meh."

"Last night I dreamed about eating a huge cotton candy. When I woke up, my pillow was missing."

"Unless you have stellar reflexes, throwing a bouncy ball at your spouse during an argument is not the best choice."

"What problem afflicts 40% of all pedophiles? Immature ejaculation"

"I just want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa... Not like the passengers in his car who were screaming quite loudly."

"A duck walks into a drug store. He says ""Give me some chap stick."" The cashier asks ""Will that be cash or credit?"" The duck says ""Just put it on my bill."""

"As a kid I've always wanted to be Batman when I grew up but then i was disappointed by a sudden realization... I have parents"

"I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement."

"How do you annoy a Reddittor? Repost"