52019

Joke of the Day

"Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog"

"When do you care for a man's company? ""When he owns it."""

"Did you hear about the loud tree? It had a lot of bark. It gave another tree a splitting headache. So it took some aspen."

"[Request] Easy to remember jokes that can be told at a bar even after a few I was wondering if there were some easy to remember, or just good jokes that could be told at a bar."

"You would think that, if you pulled a snail's shell off, then it would be able to move faster. I tried it, but they seem to be more sluggish."

"Why are most male squirrels gay? Cuz they love nuts!"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't gonna come."

"Is your dad retarded? Because you're something special"

"My 3 year old is singing the rare 19 hour version of ""Let It Go"", using only 3 words."

"I want my funeral to be sad and completely serious. Then right when my coffin starts lowering into the ground the song from Tetris plays."