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Joke of the Day

"I was at the Apple store The Employee recommended the iPhone 6S. I said ""That sounds S-septional!"" *Stupid grin*"

"Balloons think they're so cool. I tried to tell one he was leaking and he just said, ""Pfft."""

"Yo mama's so fat... When she picked up a toddler the zoo keepers shot her."

"Our wedding pic looks like my wife's selfie photo bombed by me."

"[Arguing with a guy over who's tougher] *takes toothpick from mouth* ""When I started chewing this it was a full grown spruce."""

"1) Find and catch a rabbit 2) Go to restaurant 3) Complain about a hare in your meal 4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet"

"Xbox exclusive games"

"""I don't want this holiday to end mummy!"" ""Don't worry Madeleine, it won't"""

"Very sad to hear about Nigel Farage. Nothing's happened to him, I'm just sad to hear about him."

"There are alot of Hillary signs in my neighborhood... When did she change her last name to 'For Prison'?"