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Joke of the Day

"Balloons think they're so cool. I tried to tell one he was leaking and he just said, ""Pfft."""

"Is it cocky to have more than one penis? I think it's two cocky."

"A guy walks into a grocery store... And buys groceries."

"Why is it that when your dog brings you things he's killed it's cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?"

"""COME ON! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE HOURS AGO! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SHOWERED?"" Noah yelled, waiting for the sloths to get on the Ark"

"What's the difference between a cheap hooker and an expensive one? You'll get crabs from the cheap one, and lobsters from the other. Heard this years ago, hope this ain't a repost. Cheers"

"What do you call a circumcision for a dollar? A rip off!"

"Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide. Edit: spelling."

"Who is going to win tonight's presidential election? The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph."

"If you thought 9/11 was bad..... The UK might lose a whole country today"