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Joke of the Day

"[at my grandmas house] MY GRANDMA (not the grandma whose house we're at but my other grandma): (to my grandma whose house we are at) hey"

"So there comes a man at the bakery... Bakery closed."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape North Korea's long range missiles"

"What did the barber say to the Potato? ""You've got eyes on the back of your head!"""

"Dear students, I know when you're texting Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, your teacher."

"Boss: This is the 3rd time I've seen you slacking off today. Do you know what that means? Me: You want me to move the couch into my office?"

"Your momma is so fat She uses ""panorama"" mode for her selfies."

"Dad: ""Son, if you don't stop masturbating you're gonna go blind."" Son: ""I'm over here Dad."""

"What do you call a pirate having sex? A jolly rogering."

"AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series"