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Joke of the Day
"I left my keys on my piano ...That's it."
Next Joke
"Whenever I have doubts as to my race, I just scrunch up a piece of paper & shoot at a waste basket... Anyway, today! I am definitely white."
"It's great that every Playmate ""just wants a guy that makes them laugh"", because I want a chick with fake boobs that can't form a sentence."
"When can women make you a millionaire? When you're a billionaire"
"how can you tell..... how can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? when she sits on your face you can no longer hear the background music"
"""Mmm..I love your cooking darling."" That's the male equivalent to a fake orgasm."
"A redneck sees another carrying a sheep under each arm. So he asks him, ""you shearing?"" The other answers ""nope, gonna fuck 'em both m'self."""
"[REQUEST] FAST! I'm trying to impress a girl by text. Send me your funniest jokes about potatoes. Anything having to do with potatoes. NSFW or not anything's fair game."
"What did the mama pig give her baby pig for its rash? ***OINKMENT!*** > (This exchange that I found on /r/tumblr makes this joke even funnier to me: > http://i.imgur.com/EzT0Bkd.jpg)"
"Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs."