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Joke of the Day

"My sister told me I'd never be able to kill a man with my pasta... ... She soon learned that the penne's mightier than the sword!"

"What's the one thing that's worse than putting the punchline in the title?"

"My son asked me to stop singing oasis songs in public... I said maybe."

"A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine ...with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"It's my birthday tomorrow - in lieu of charitable donations, please send gifts."

"All of Hitlers generals were having a cookout, why wasn't Hitler invited? He always burnt the franks."

"Yesterday at around 830pm a man pulled out a pair of scissors at me Luckly I had enough agility and I pulled out a rock because if I were have pulled out paper he would have won."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C."

"Apparently the norwegian government pays for you to hire convicts I guess there are some pro's to hirin a con."

"I was at my local home improvement store yesterday And I was looking in the window section. An employee came over and asked if I needed any help, I responded ""No thanks, I'm just window shopping."""