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Joke of the Day

"Responding as if you've just been wrongfully accused of murder when someone on the phone asks if you're still in bed"

"If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn't mean I'm stalking you...It just means you haven't looked nice in awhile"

"A man tells his doctor, ""Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter! The doctor replies, ""Sorry, I don't follow you..."

"Why can't ghosts have babies? Because they have hollow-weenies!"

"What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Some day my prints will come!"

"What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it? Nothing. It just let out a little wine."

"What do you call a Mexican mountain climber? Caribeaner"

"A man and a boy are walking through the dark woods together Boy: Wow this is really scary Man: How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!!!"

"What do you call an explanation of an Asian cooking show? A wok-through."

"Case against Congress A guy walks into his agent's office and says, ""Got a great movie idea. Guy hates Congress wants to bring them down."" Agent looks up and says, ""We'll never get the backing!"""