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Joke of the Day

"Responding as if you've just been wrongfully accused of murder when someone on the phone asks if you're still in bed"

"I like my coffee how I like my women Bitter and cold."

"Where do bourgeois monarchists get their coffee? Tsarbucks"

"PMS jokes are not funny... Period."

"For her birthday, my wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 in 5 seconds. So I got her a weighing machine..."

"If you received a blow job from a toothless Japanese woman, Would you call that oralgumi?"

"Why did the girl spray her clock? It was full of ticks."

"I'm going to name my first kid Authorized Personnel so they can go wherever they want in life."

"Well, well, well... There's three deep holes in the ground with water in the bottom of them."

"What do you call a group of pigs? A precinct."