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Joke of the Day

"*goes to fabric store* Do you guys have boyfriend material?"

"Q: Where do Sith Lords shop? A: At Darth Mall."

"Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler."

"How is it called when you get a blowjob from Oliver Queen? arrow head"

"The past 2 hours I spent at the mall would have been a lot more constructive if I looked for gifts instead of staring at mannequin nipples."

"Your Mom is so old... She had to use her own face for emoticons."

"What is the difference between an egg and a redditor? Eggs get laid at least once."

"When I see a kid on a leash I assume they were a dog turned into a kid by a witch & the owners have yet to figure out how to turn them back."

"[first day as funeral director] this is the dress she wants to be buried in ""It's very pretty but we highly suggest a coffin"""

"On the one hand I feel bad that Jeniffer Lawrence privacy was invaded, but on the other hand ...well that hand is busy."