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Joke of the Day

"It takes 10,000 hours to be really good at something. It's really easy being poor now."

"My microwave broke. So, we're finding innovative alternatives. Did y'all know the surface on top of the oven heats up, too? Honest to God."

"What's the difference between America and Saudi Arabia? You don't need a computer to play minesweeper in Saudi Arabia. (I'm not sorry)"

"[at aquarium] ""Kids, the blowfish is named bc of its cheeks"" BLOWFISH: [taps glass] actually that's a common misconception, got any cocaine?"

"Let's give it up for grandmas who get offended and scared when they hear the word penis, but have like 12 kids."

"(Amazingly, an original joke!) Where will they put Deadmau5 when he dies? In a Mau5oleum!"

"You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies."

"Did you know that diarrhea is genetic... Yea, it runs in your genes."

"If Bill Clinton ever says ""I can't. My wife would kill me"" What he really means is his wife would have him killed."

"*Girl comes out in a slinky dress* ME: Ooh that looks like fun *I push her down the stairs*"