180115

Joke of the Day

"Did you know that the Queen of England is a casual gamer? From what I hear, she mostly plays Nintendo games. So, would you call this proper use of the royal Wii?"

"So I listened to some LL Cool J then kept licking my lips like he does. I found myself in HR. Good thing I wasn't listening to KISS."

"*something awful happens* *checks if Mercury is in retrograde*"

"Did you hear about the baby born with no eyelids? They used his circumcised foreskin to surgically replace his eyelids. The surgery was a success although he is a little Cock-eyed"

"I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Women With cream in her"

"*walks outside* Its real quiet.. Almost too quiet. *looks around* *lights BBQ* *1000 Dads emerge from nowhere giving generic BBQ advice*"

"Mexican Olympic Team Why doesn't Mexico send a team to the Summer Olympics? Because all the one that can run, jump, or swim are already in the US."

"What do you call it when you can't decide between a natural birth and the hospital? A midwife crisis."

"How many Hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags in the woods."

"A riddle or a joke? You are at a party with over 100 people, how can you tell which one is a pilot? He'll tell you."