182466

Joke of the Day

"A Hardcore atheist, A dedicated vegan, and an avid cross-fiter walk into a bar. how can you tell which one is which? They tell you."

"not one character on the show Friends had a job that was a joke, was broke, or had a love life that was DOA."

"The people you may know list should be renamed to, the people you may want to block."

"Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done."

"How do you get a witch pregnant? You fuck her."

"Ran my first 10K this morning. Just kidding I'm on my third donut."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... His name is Chaz."

"Is the Black Friday name racist? Because everything's a steal?"

"You see two puppies. ""Awwwww!"" But they're cannibal puppies! ""Ahhhhhhh!"" One puppy eats the other! ""Ewwwww!"" Then he takes a nap. ""Awwwww!"""

"My husband said that he seriously fears for my life every time I go out because I'm the ""kind of person people would want to kill."""