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Joke of the Day
"How do French psychologists like their beverages? froid"
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"[aquarium exit] Excuse me ma'am, would you mind opening your bag? I beg your pardon?! OPEN YOUR BAG *opens bag and reveals two penguins*"
"What pokemon spys on you while he has a cold? Peek achoo!"
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"What does the Rose iphone 7 and the Titanic have in common? They both lost Jack."
"Growing old is a lot like grammar The past is perfect and the present, tense"
"The one huge advantage of being dumb ... you never overthink things."
"I used to always ask my mom for things & she'd say ""what's the magic word"" and I'd say ""abracadabra"" and she'd say ""you're why dad left."""
"If you put your ear really close to someone's knee you can actually hear... ...them say: ""What the fuck are you doing?!"""
"British corn maze scientist found out..."