182286
Joke of the Day
"Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller? They are both crushed-asians"
Next Joke
"That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide."
"How did I get out of Iraq? Iran"
"@funTweeters you guys are my favorite thing about Twitter. I suggest we get pant less and hug this out like men."
"What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing... It just waved."
"How the hell did Caitlyn Jenner win women of the year? She hasn't even been a women for a year yet."
"""He's not sleeping with you cause you're fat and ugly, so lose some weight and do your make up like this."" - Women's magazines, summarized."
"What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep? A WOOLY JUMPER :)"
"You had a flat tire on the highway? What was that like? [cut to: me crying helplessly until AAA arrives] Your survival instincts take over"
"I have a flight to catch but there is a cat on my lap"