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Joke of the Day

"Why is the north pole of a magnet red? Because they don't have seals on the south pole Takes a while to get, but it's worth it in the end."

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"How do you know if Helen Keller just masturbated? She spits when she talks."
"Me: I grew a beard once & It actually looked just like yours. Him: Why'd you shave it off? Me: I just told you..."
"how do lawyers argue without crying"
"three straight men walk in to a bar... and come out."
"#1: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?"
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool."
"I got invited to a block party recently. I show up, blocks EVERYWHERE."
"The keurig machine at work acts like its going to give me coffee, but it turns off at the last minute. I feel like I'm getting brew balls."
"Why are nuns like a brand new TV? You need a knife to get in the box."