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Joke of the Day

"What's a Muslim soccer player's favorite way to move the ball? A. Kicking. B. Heading. C. Kneeing?"

"What is Mozart doing now? He is de-composing"

"If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out ""Marry me?"" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples."

"I met a girl last night with an AOL email address. She also had no idea women could vote and that we have a black president."

"What did the midget say in the crowded elevator? You guys are a bunch of assholes."

"*shakes brain like an Etch-A-Sketch*"

"Knock knock Who's there? I got up."

"What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1."

"35% of all hospital deaths are caused by the attending physician failing to yell ""Don't you die on me!"" at the right moment."

"What did the FSB call the dissident who had been shot fifteen times in the head? The worst case of suicide they'd ever seen."