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Joke of the Day

"""I'm all up for sex with handcuffs..."" ""...I just think a little warning would have been nice, Officer."""

"You should be proud of who you are! Unless you're a straight white male."

"One lab mouse to another: I've trained that crazy human at last. How have you done that? I don't know how but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell he gives me a piece of cheese."

"""Boss, I've got a probl-"" ""There are no such things as problems, only opportunities"" ""Oh, ok. I've got a serious drinking opportunity"""

"Did you see the headline about the 5 foot tall psychic that escaped from prison? It was: ""Small medium at large"""

"Sometimes I miss my ex. So I drop it into reverse and try again."

"Is there such a thing as filthy clean? Let's take a shower together and find out."

"THIS GIRL IS WEARING PINK CAMOUFLAGE WHERE ARE THERE PINK FORESTS"

"""But I can't conquer China, it's way too big..."" Now Genghis, what do I always say? *Sighs* ""I'm Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't"""

"A cheap concert 50 CENT starring Nickleback"