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Joke of the Day

"[ER] ME: [scared] well? DOCTOR: ur ok M: so it was just a dream D: o no ur body is filled with lizards but ur system is accepting them"

"My grandma got breast cancer and is getting a mastectomy. That's certainly a weight off her chest."

"I lost my kidneys when I turned 18 My knees are 100% adult now!"

"A local policeman did a talk on heroin It was impossible to understand him"

"I can never remember if X is hug and O is kiss or if it's the other way around, so sorry if our tic-tac-toe game starts off a little weird."

"They say you should eat 6 small meals a day to lose weight so being an overachiever I have been eating 26 a day."

"Who do you think the scariest POTUS was? I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads."

"I had a friend in a wheelchair but i had to let him go Now hes going downhill fast"

"I cant find my large stir fry pan It's like it just gets up and Woks away"

"What's a skydiver's favorite spice? Ground cumin! As long as they aren't running out of thyme."