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Joke of the Day

"Why did Adele cross the road? To say ""hello"" from the other side. ::mic drop::::"

"""I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"""

"Sad day--NBC said no to my TV idea, 'Celebrity Q-tip Cams', where we go deep inside the ears of the stars."

"Me and my girlfriend are always sleeping together. I think we both might have a touch of narcolepsy"

"Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago."

"Given the choice between Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, I would prefer Parkinson's. I would rather spill a little beer than forget where I put it."

"Two Vietnamese men decided to go into business together... It was a Nguyen-Nguyen proposition."

"I'm confused. Celebrity comedians are paid millions of dollars... Yet the funniest people on the internet are janitors and stay-at-home moms."

"I went in to hospital for an operation... I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said: ""Sure, knock yourself out""."

"why did Hitler kill himself because he saw his gas bill"