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Joke of the Day

"A man speaks with his daughter. Father : Well, you fuck way better than your mother. Daughter : I know, my brothers told me!"

Next Joke
 
"Me: what are we doing today Trainer: let work on your forearms. Me: but I only have 2 T: What?!? Me: *whispers* I only have 2?"
"You can't force someone to love you. All you can do is hire a panda suit and wait outside their window reading sonnets."
"I have decided that I am not a 30 something. I am 29.95, plus shipping and handling."
"I was so bored earlier I made a belt out of watches. It was a complete waist of time."
"confession: when my barber spins me around and hands me a mirror to check the back I just fake it. Who is even that coordinated?"
"How does a mathematician solve constipation? Pro biotics and a healthy amount of fiber."
"Hay gurl are you a gorilla enclosure? Cause' I wanna drop a kid in you."
"Why do fat chicks give the best head? Because they have to."
"Stephen Tyler looks like he's made from leftover pieces of Mickey Rourke."