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Joke of the Day
"The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, HBO"
Next Joke
"So many pants. So little yoga."
"What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic? A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. ~ Infinite Jest, by DFW"
"A guy walks into a bar wearing plastic wrap pants... The bartender says ""Whoa there buddy, just turn around and leave - I can clearly see you're nuts!"""
"My dog said ""woof"" so I said ""woof"" & now I'm afraid of what I may have agreed to."
"What did the vegan say when he saw someone familiar? I've seen herbivore."
"The Masochist begged the Sadist, ""Beat me, beat me!!"" The Sadist said, ""No"""
"A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it."
"Of course he's going to get re-elected, because once you go Black..."
"[on phone] ""Press 1 if you're a huge nerd"" ""Press 2 if you're a virgin"" ""Press 3 if y-"" STOP TALKING, DAD! I'm trying to call Xbox support"