1817

Joke of the Day

"I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys."

"After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves."

"When is a train being polite at dinner time? When it choo's quietly."

"What do you call all Republicans that aren't racist, sexist or homophobic? Nancy from New York."

"A pirate goes to the doctor, worried the moles on his back are cancerous ""It's ok"" says the Doctor ""They're benign"" ""Count 'em again Doc"" says the pirate. ""I reckon there be at least ten"

"Ever heard of a 6.9? It's just another great thing ruined by a period."

"Instead of just answering the phone when it rings, I prefer to wonder why the hell someone's calling me and glare at it until it goes away."

"When a Chinise guy and an Indian have a race fight. Who will win? When two of the most populated countries clash which race will rise?"

"What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza? Even if it is cold it's still good."

"""Use the forceps, Luke!"" - Obi Gyn Kenobi"