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Joke of the Day

"France is a shitty country... Even the Nice parts are rundown."

"What do you call a Magician's dog? A Labracadabrador."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face."

"If I could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, I would choose alive."

"ME: in closing, all of the facts I've presented today prove that Bush did 911 PRIEST: and now the bride will read the vows she has written"

"3 biggest women lies :) 1. I will not change after marriage. 2. I forgive you. --- EDIT: 2. It's fine. I forgive you. 3. I am going shopping. I will be back in 30 minutes."

"You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance."

"Why did the girl reject the landfill owner? His place is a dump"

"Florida is great, if you make a wrong turn you're at the beach."

"I sure hope they're wrong about 2012. I'd hate to think I wasted the last couple years of my life on here with you guys."