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Joke of the Day
"Your Costco ID photo shows you what you'd look like as a meth addict."
Next Joke
"My voicemail message is just me sighing for 20 minutes."
"I just found out that my geology professor passed away... my sediments go out to his family"
"One man's sprinkler is another man's bidet"
"What is .Net"
"The DNC Yup"
"It puts the lotion in the basket. Then it calls the wife to make sure it's the right brand so it doesn't get the hose again."
"A police man pulled me over and said ""papers"". So I said ""Scissors! I win"" and drove off"
"Biology: The science of writing awesome bios."
"Why did the vegetable kill himself? He didn't carrot all."