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Joke of the Day

"I just went to poop without my phone & had to entertain myself with a magazine like a god damned caveman."

"Never trust a psychic wearing a band-aid, they should have seen that shit coming."

"When life gives you financial troubles... Make Financialade."

"How to make a girl furious in 2 steps... Step 1, take a picture of her Step 2, don't show it to her"

"How did hitler rise to power? He didn't everyone else just fell."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands"

"why would you steal a baby at least steal something good like a truck or a dolphin"

"What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue? Mandel broth Ha ha ha The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier.."

"A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive."

"Fox News: Witnesses are telling us Michael Brown may have charged Officer Darren Wilson atop a dragon, wielding a poison-tipped broadsword"