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Joke of the Day

"How to make a girl furious in 2 steps... Step 1, take a picture of her Step 2, don't show it to her"

"Our WIFI was down yesterday and I spent 45 minutes trying to fix it. Our dishwasher has been broken for 3 weeks and I haven't even touched it."

"Jan 21, 2015: The 1989 film ""Back to the Future II"" showed life on Oct 21, 2015. So we've got 9 Months to invent Flying Cars."

"A man has three testicles. He goes to the doctor and says, ""Doc, I have one more testicle than you."" The doctor replies, ""Really? You have eight?"""

"Where do Orcish cows go to hang out? *Moooooooo*rdor."

"Why is the United States always in political disarray? It's a nation without a litre."

"Nobody cares about Nihilism. The punchline."

"ME: [sitting in kitchen writing out bills] SON: I lost a tooth. I'm gonna leave it under my pillow tonight. ME: I'd wait until next week."

"Some people only gets called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name."

"I honestly have allergies and dry skin this time of year, but it never looks good for a dude to have tissues & lotion on his desk."