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Joke of the Day

"What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue? Mandel broth Ha ha ha The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier.."

"Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet? Because it was a Number 2."

"[Doctors appointment] Me: It hurts when I go like this. *gets up and leaves and goes to work*"

"On the bus I was sitting on the bus and this super hot Thai girl gets on and sits next to me I think to myself ""Please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner"" She did."

"Nobody in America dies as a virgin... because our government fucks us all."

"What does the number 3 have in common with a Tumbler user? They both can't even."

"All I want for Christmas is my own perfume commercial where I say random words like 'hope' and 'passion' & look like a date rape victim."

"pedophiles are the worst but a close runner-up would be the people who don't get excited when they win stuff on the radio"

"What is the internet's predominant religion? Cat-holic-ism. Meow!"

"Staying at a hotel tonight which means I get to play everyone's favorite game: Are you smarter than a new shower?"