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Joke of the Day

"If my wife googles images of breastfeeding its perfectly okay. But when I do it, and substitute 'big and wet' for 'feeding', she gets angry."

Next Joke
 
"Save the cheerleader, save Reddit. "
"When a child whines and cries, you give it back to the mama, so... *hands husband back to my mother-in-law*"
"Why would I go to a high school reunion? I have Facebook, I already know who got fat."
"Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus."
"Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? ...Because Burger King didn't wrap his whopper"
"Did you hear about the guy who tried to have sex with an acorn? He was fucking nuts."
"Shout out to plants for being independent niggas grinding 24/7 for their own food and putting on for the team by helping everyone breathe"
"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down... You have my Word."
"One potato asks another: -""Are you sure we are related?"" -""Yes I yam!"""