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Joke of the Day

"[getting car jacked] umm i know i'm supposed to resist and all but if we don't cooperate we're both gonna miss McDonalds breakfast so hop in"

"What did the owner of the Indian restaurant say when he burned all of his bread? ""Don't worry, it's a naan issue."""

"You don't give up your car when someone else drives drunk! So why would you give up your gun when someone else commits a crime with a gun?!"

"What's Hitler's favourite cany? Nazipan"

"Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are dating? OMg"

"All these star wars spoilers are alderaan reasons to start a war"

"what""s the difference between tuna and chicken? a shower"

"What do you call a Native American with psoriasis? Apache Indian"

"Put your GPS on full volume for your daily commute if you want to know what marriage is like."

"What's the difference between people from Dubai and people from Abu Dhabi? People from Dubai don't like the flintstones, but people from Abu Dhabi do"