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Joke of the Day

"The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it ""Contains Peanuts"" makes me extremely nervous for the human race."

"A poltergeist was moving furniture around the house, and I really love what he's done with the place."

"If you play a Justin Bieber track backwards... ...You'll hear satanic messages. Even worse, if you play it forward, you'll hear Justin Bieber!"

"i like how at this walmart they put baby food products in the checkout lane. like oops thats right i have a baby to feed"

"Did you guys know you get a full body massage while being embalmed? I can't wait."

"I like my friends like I like my coffee... I gave it up for lent"

"I have a few chemistry jokes I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction."

"It's hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs."

"*scampers over to ice cream truck* Yes, I'll take the SpongeBob who looks like he just opened the Ark of the Covenant, please."

"Out with the cat for a walk. We are still at my doorstep. It's been 15 minutes."