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Joke of the Day

"A poltergeist was moving furniture around the house, and I really love what he's done with the place."

"What do you call chips that aren't yours? Nacho chips"

"What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino? Hell if I know! (elephino)"

"Brain: You've got ONE shot at this. Me: Ready. Brain: Go talk to her. ""YOUR HAIR IS THE COLOR OF HONEY CAN I TASTE IT?!?"" Brain: Magical!"

"Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"I had a friend who was right handed but left footed... But he's all right now..."

"Why do cannabis smokers call that tiny device that holds the butt of a cigarette a roach-clip? ...because ""pot holder"" was already taken."

"Why do Americans just ignore the ""H"" in ""Herb""? Honestly, no idea!"

"Two muffins are in the oven. One looks over and says, ""Gee, don't you think it's hot in here?"" and the other muffin says, ""AAAAHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"""

"So there I was, balls deep in a jar of mayonnaise. When I said to myself, ""Self..."" ""I shoulda made a sandwich first."""