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Joke of the Day
"Say whatever you want about pedophiles... ..but at least they slow down in school zones..."
Next Joke
"What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup."
"Decided to take all my old watches and join them together to make a new belt... turned out to be a waist of time."
"Pregnancy test that says, ""Your cart has 1 item in it"""
"The worst part about going to concerts is realizing people you'd otherwise think are freaks actually share your taste in music."
"If you rape a hooker/prostitute... is that actually shoplifting?"
"Hitler took a quiz... He didn't do that well on most of the questions, but he got the third reich."
"Dear masturbating astronauts... In space. No one can hear you cream"
"Guy in the club: *lifts up his shirt* I do 400 crunches a day. Me: How many more until you get a personality?"
"When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandpa. Not screaming in terror like all of those people in his car."